Good Enough
by Iliana11
Summary: Beauty is a game that has no winners. There will always be a sacrifice. What price would you pay? What are its consequences, and does it bring true satisfaction? Musings on the way the world views beauty. Twoshot. Second chapter is now a real chapter!
1. Good Enough

**11/27 edit: I've had several reviews requesting sort of a closure for the princess of this story. Also, I was told to be careful since my second chapter was technically a non-chapter. That reviewer was right. All of my reviewers for this have been right, actually. So in honor of all of you, the explanation has been moved to the end of this chapter, and the second chapter will be a real chapter with something special for our princess. Thank you for all of your reviews! **

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You told me a princess had to be a lady; princesses don't run around in the mud. I didn't want to leave the joys of childhood, of playing without care. But I wanted your approval. So I stayed inside and read books, aspiring to be everything you said I should be. I wanted to be a lady.

Am I good enough now?

You said that a princess should be beautiful; her intelligence is not what matters. So I spent hours in front of the mirror, perfecting my appearance. I did it for you. I spoke softly, and when I spoke, it was exactly as proper etiquette dictated. Yet you still forced me to change.

Am I good enough now?

A princess had to have the appetite of a bird, you said. Her waistline had to be the tiniest in the land. So I starved myself, refusing to eat. My stomach cried out for more nourishment, yet I refused. I wanted to be good enough for you.

I am starving. I am covered with all sorts of lotions and paints to make myself beautiful.

Am I good enough now?

You said a princess had to be rescued. Men loved a woman who needed saving. So I let myself be locked away in a tower, far away from the rest of the world never to be seen by anyone. There was nothing in the tower but my own thoughts and a place to sleep. I stayed up there for years, waiting for what you assured me would be my happy ending.

Am I good enough now?

Any man who has come up here has rejected me. They consider me pleasing to the eye and body. But nothing more. As soon as they realize that I won't do as they please, they leave. They're telling me the same thing you did. I'm not good enough for anyone to love. Will I only be loved for my body? I won't do that. I'm so alone. It's killing me inside.

I am beautiful. I am bored. I am starving. I am unintelligent. I am alone. I need saving. I did everything you asked. You took away my joy, my intelligence, my nourishment, and my life. I won't surrender my morals. Please don't ask me to. Please don't take my innocence as well. I already hate myself enough. You've taken everything else away from me. Am I good enough now?

This is a game I cannot win.

**Author's explanation, as promised. :)**

**I was just sort of thinking about how the world is constantly telling us what is beautiful, how to make ourselves "perfect." I can't stand it, to be honest. Constantly trying to jump through hoops and fit inside unrealistic expectations...it's exhausting. I've never struggled with anorexia or bulimia, but I know those who have. This story was meant to be a reflection on how hard we try to find approval from others. It saps all self confidence and dignity. We have to ask ourselves what extremes we will go to in order to find approval from the world. We have to ask ourselves if we are willing to play this game. If we don't want to, what do we do? Do we do the opposite and claim to "not care"? But isn't that just as disheartening? Because if we're honest, we just want someone to approve of us and tell we are loved for who we really are. Neither of these help us cure insecurity and feelings of inadequacy. Isn't there a better way?**

**Yes. Did you hear that? We don't have to be insecure and strive after all of this beauty and favor from the world. I don't claim to be perfect when it comes to this. Not at all! But I know where to find the answers. We have to understand that we are made, and made for a purpose. We have to know who we are and whose we are.**

**"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14. See that? God created us. Not only that, but He has made us in His own image. **

**"So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27. **

**God does not create junk. He makes masterpieces. Someone once told me that saying you're ugly is like telling God that His creation isn't good enough; what He's made is not good enough. You are God's masterpiece. He loves you for you, and He doesn't play favorites. We don't need to seek approval from others because God cares for us. Now, there is nothing wrong with looking nice and staying fit. I'm not saying that's wrong. In fact, I think it can be very wonderful. But keep this in mind: "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30**

**I don't know what you believe, and please don't flame my story because of what I'm saying here. But if you're as sick of all of this insecurity and are searching for something better, a better way to find your sense of self, then please look at what God says. There is nothing that can separate you from His love and His grace. He loves you, inside and out. And nothing will ever change that. **

**And to end on a light note...I'll quote a little bit of Bruno Mars. :) "'Cause girl you're amazing just the way you are!" **

**If you have any questions on anything I've said here and would like a deeper explanation, feel free to message me. **


	2. Cave of Mirrors

**A/N: I tried to write this in the same style as I did the first part. But considering that I wrote this at one in the morning and it is unbeta'd (I have no beta for my oneshots. Well, twoshots) there's probably quite a few mistakes. If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to review or even message me. Here's a resolution for our princess. **

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You told me to stay inside the tower for my own good. You said it was for the best, and that I would be much happier inside the tower.

You were wrong.

Day after day, I battled my inner demons. I fought with myself, looking at myself in the mirror and reminding myself that I am not good enough. I accidentally cut myself while cooking. It felt good. It took me far to long to decide that this life of starving myself and bleeding was not a life worth living.

After all a while, the foolish men stopped trying to rescue me. Which was perfectly fine by me, for I had little interest in them anyway. I decided to save myself.

But a small voice spoke to me: a voice that could command oceans and control winds, yet spoke to me so gently. It was during the dark nights of battling that the voice spoke, comforting me, leading me to hope.

Perhaps this voice was a stroke of madness after being locked up for so long. I know it was not, though. I know this voice was real, a part of a being who is willing to help me. This voice helped me escape.

I will not tell you all of the details of how I escaped. But I can tell you that I will never go back to the tower. From escaping, the voice led me through the wilderness. I stopped at a cave.

_You must enter. _I initially resisted. But I knew that I had to. The voice told me that I had to see with his eyes. Almost instantly, a tentacle of silver wind stroked my eyes. At first, nothing changed. Only after exiting the cave did I understand the gravity of my changed eyes. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

I entered the cave, scared. Along the walls I saw mirrors. These were no ordinary mirrors. One mirror showed me with great weight. Another showed me impossibly skinny. None of my reflections seemed accurate; they all were disproportionate in some way or another.

And then I saw them. Two mirrors, standing right across from one another. One showed a terribly beautiful princess, with flawless and effortless appearance and grace and poise any lady of the Court would envy. Across from this was a small, lost child, wounded and face marred. The perfect reflection spoke to me.

"You will never be like me. You will never be perfect."

"Help me!" begged the reflection on the other side. The two argued back and forth, begging for help and putting me down. I then looked at the back of the cave.

The reflection in the mirror was me. It was not like any of the other reflections I had seen of myself. It was me as I truly was. I then realized that all of the images in the mirrors had been how I viewed myself. But they were not true. None of these reflections were. The perfect one was what I wanted to be. The wounded one was how I felt. I grew a sudden loathing for each and every reflection. I picked a large stone off the ground. I was going to destroy these. All of them except for the true mirror.

I screamed as I pounded the rock against the glass. Shards of glass spilled across the floor. I broke all of them. And as I stood, ready to destroy the last mirror, the impossibly perfect image, I saw you. I saw that this was everything you wanted me to be, but the one across it was what you made me.

I put to death all of your thoughts of me. I didn't need you anymore. Your words meant nothing to me anymore. You only destroyed me. I wanted to hate you for it. But the choice was mine to make. I didn't have to listen to you.

I shattered that mirror even more than the others. You are dead to me.

I exited the cave confident. I was who I was. I had a voice, a whisper on the wind that cared about me and saved me from you, and on a deeper level, from myself.

I began to walk. I had no destination in mind. I knew I would find love somewhere along the way. But you would no longer tell me how. I would fall in love and pave my own path in my own time and my own way.

You don't own me anymore. I'm good enough the way I am.


End file.
